Awkwardness
by teanc09
Summary: After spending years apart, personally, it takes some time for them to get over the awkwardness. Post Season 2.
1. Chapter 1

When Will finally signed off for the night it was after one. He threw to Jane, who was going to take them through the west coast races. Will had done his job. He called the Presidency, now he was ready to go home. He knew there was still a party going on in their bullpen area, but the only person he wanted to party with was Mackenzie.

Will saw that Mac had her technical team together and slipped in the back of the control room. He listened to her thank the staff and compliment them on jobs very well done. They all clapped for each other and then she said she didn't want to see any of them in before four that afternoon. The staff dispersed leaving Will and Mac alone in the control room. This was the first time they had alone when they didn't have to be either back on the air, or back in the control room.

"Hi," he said.

"You did excellent out there tonight, Billy."

"Thanks. You ran a great show."

She smiled and said, "thanks." There was this awkwardness about them. She tried to move them onto a somewhat safe topic. "The staff are going to Hang Chews for a celebratory drink. Do you want to join them?"

Will knew that they should go spend some time with the staff, but all he really wanted to do was to take Mac home. He assumed they were spending the night together, but what if she needed, or wanted to go home. He could go with her, he thought. "We should," he finally said.

"But," she added for him, smiling.

"I'd love some down time with you, just you and me."

"That sounds nice. I wasn't sure how long we'd be here, so I've got clothes and everything I need in my office. We can go to yours whenever you'd like," she said.

He realized that he hadn't touched her, or kissed her or anything. He was so used to keeping her at arm's length he'd forgotten that he didn't have to do that any more. He moved closer to her and took her hand in his and leaned down to kiss her.

She knew it was going to take some time to get used to one another again, but they did okay in the office every day. She kissed him back for a few moments and when she pulled back she said, "go change and we'll get out of here."

"Okay, I'll come find you in a few. Do you need to do anything before we leave?"

"Not at all."

"Okay, I'm going to go," he said and quickly turned and left the control room.

"That could have gone better," Mac thought to herself. She grabbed her things and walked through the bullpen, which was still full of people celebrating, to her office. She was catching up on emails when Will knocked on her door.

"You ready?" she asked him.

"Yes. My driver is downstairs," he said, his hands in his pockets.

She could tell he was nervous. She shut down her computer and grabbed her purse and pulled her small suitcase out of the corner. Will took that for her and she said, "thanks."

Together they walked to the elevator and when it arrived they were all alone. They weren't talking and it seemed awkward again. Some of it was how tired they both were and some of it was the unknown. Thankfully, their elevator didn't make any stops. Will motioned for her to exit first and he followed. When they got to the street Will opened the door for Mac and gave the driver Mac's luggage to put in the trunk.

When the driver got back in he said, "where to, Mr. McAvoy?"

"Home, please." He looked over at Mackenzie and she had her eyes closed and her head resting back against the seat. He took her hand and when he did so, she opened her eyes, but didn't lift her head. "I'm exhausted and I have no idea how you are still able to hold your eyes open," he said.

"Sheer will at this point, I think," she said.

Will pushed the button to engage the privacy panel and when it was in place he said, "when was the last time you slept?"

"I slept some last night."

"How much, Mac?"

"Maybe two hours," she said after thinking about it for too long.

He saw her eyes close and he didn't talk any more on the ride to his apartment. He knew she was about to collapse from sheer exhaustion. The car stopped and the driver got out. Will opened his door and looked at her, she was still asleep. He got out and walked to her side of the car and opened her door. Still, she remained asleep.

"Mac," he said quietly. Her eyes popped open and she sat up. "Come on," he said holding his hand out for her.

She easily took his hand and let him help her out of the car. He took her suitcase from the driver and gave him a tip and then led Mac into the building. He said hello to the concierge and the front desk person and walked into the elevator and inserted his key. "I've got a key for you upstairs," he said to Mac.

"Thanks," she said and yawned, leaning her head against his shoulder.

He knew he had to get her into bed very soon. The elevator door opened and Will led them into the apartment. He led Mac straight back to the bedroom. As soon as they entered the bedroom she kicked off her shoes. He led her over to the bed, "sit, please." When she was sitting he put her suitcase next to her. "Do you have something to sleep in, in here, or do you need a shirt?"

She heard him speaking but what he was saying wasn't really registering.

When he realized she wasn't going to respond to him he leaned down so he could look in her eyes. He cupped her chin and lifted her head gently. "Do you need a shirt to sleep in, Kenz?"

She smiled and nodded her head.

"Okay, right back," he said and went over to his dresser and found a t-shirt for her. He turned and walked back to her and she was lying on her side, asleep. He laid the shirt down on the end of the bed and decided to leave her there, for now.

Will walked into the living room and poured a drink. He knew he needed to sleep, but he was still too wound up. He'd, no, they'd had a big day. He walked out to the balcony and stood there, taking in the city and thinking about all that had happened in the last few hours. He'd stood there for a while. He'd finished his drink and put his glass on the table. He now was leaning on the railing, relaxing. All of a sudden he jerked when he felt something on his back and quickly turned around.

"Jesus, Mac, you scared me," he said.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm not used to anybody being here," he said and pulled her against his side. "I thought you'd be asleep for a while."

"My sleep schedule is so screwed up that a few minutes gets me by for a while."

Her statement worried him. "How long has your sleep schedule been screwed up?"

"A while."

He wanted her to go back to sleep and hopefully, sleep for a longer period of time. "You feel like going back to bed?"

"Are you coming with me," she asked, looking up at him, her eyes big.

He smiled at her and nodded. "Come on," he said, taking her hand, and leading her back into the bedroom. Once they were in the bedroom he turned to her and said, "you may not remember this, but I asked you earlier if you need something to sleep in."

"There may be some yoga pants in my bag, but I'm honestly not sure. I don't really remember what I packed. Where is my bag?"

"Here you go," he said picking up her bag and placed it on the bed for her.

She opened the bag and looked through the contents. She found a pair of yoga pants and put them on the bed. She also took out her bathroom kit and put it on top of the pants. "Did you put this out for me?" she asked touching the t-shirt.

He nodded. He was looking uncomfortable again. "Thanks. I'm going to go change, I'll be right back," she said gathering her things.

Will watched her walk into the bathroom.

Mac sat her things down on the counter and braced her arms. They were so uncomfortable and she had no idea how to get them comfortable. She found herself taking extra time in the bathroom so she wouldn't have to face the awkwardness of the bedroom. It wasn't as if they were strangers and they worked together almost every day, but this was different. After giving herself a pep talk she left the bathroom and walked back into the bedroom. Will had moved her suitcase over to the corner, changed into sleep pants and a t-shirt and turned down the bed. He was standing next to the bed, not sure what to do with himself. She stopped by her side of the bed and pulled the covers back and slipped into bed.

"Do you need some water, or anything?" he asked, hoping to have something to do.

"I would like a glass of water, please."

He smiled; he had a mission now. "Right back," he said and walked into the kitchen. He got each of them some water and brought the glasses back to the bedroom. Mac was curled up on her side. He placed her water on her nightstand and then moved to put his down on his nightstand. He moved the covers back and slipped into bed, resting on his side facing her.

She reached for his cheek, her thumb rubbing just under his eye, gently. "Are you tired?"

He nodded. "Will you be able to sleep, or are you too tired?" she asked.

"I think I'll be okay. You want an Ambien?"

She shifted to her back and sighed. "If we didn't have to be in tomorrow I'd take one."

He lifted himself up on his elbow so he could look at her. "I'm going to suggest this even though I know I'm going to get shot down. Take tomorrow off."

She rolled back to her side and he lowered himself back to the bed. "The suit will be filed, we need to be there for the staff. This weekend, I'm not getting out of bed, or even going outside."

"There's no way," he teased. "You'll be stir crazy by Saturday night."

"Not this time, Billy."

He knew then how tired she really was and he needed to help her rest. "I'm all for a completely down weekend. Food comes to us and we lie around and rest and relax. Sounds like a great weekend."

She nodded.

He leaned over and kissed her and said, "may I hold you?"

She moved closer to him and he rolled onto his back, pulling her even closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder. Her arm was around his waist. He kissed her head and said, "sleep, Kenz."

That was the last they talked for many hours. Mac may have told her staff to not be in before four, but Charlie told Will to make sure he and Mac didn't come in before then, either. Will woke first and when he looked at the clock it was almost eleven. Mac was still sound asleep and he hoped she'd sleep a while longer. He knew she wanted to be in the studio, but he agreed with Charlie, they both needed to take some extra time, especially, Mac.

Will got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom and then the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He grabbed the paper and read the headlines while it brewed. When it was finished he put the coffee in a thermal pot and took it along with cups, cream and sugar into the bedroom. He sat the tray on the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. He thought that the smell might wake her up, but she may have been too exhausted.

He heard her moan in her sleep while he was reading the paper, but she seemed to settle back down, so he continued reading. It was when he reached for the next section of the paper that she began thrashing about in her sleep and the moaning began again. He put he paper down and started to touch her back when she sat up and screamed, "no."

"Mac," he said moving closer to her.

She had her hands over her face and he could hear her crying. He pulled her against him and she wrapped her arms tight around his neck. He pulled her onto his lap and tried to help her calm down, soothingly rubbing her back. "I've got you, you're okay, Kenz. Just breathe and feel me holding you." He kept talking quietly to her until he felt her loosen her hold on his neck. He eased her back, just enough so he could see her face, "you okay?"

She nodded. "Can you talk about the dream?"

She shook her head. "It's okay, you don't have to, Kenz." He didn't know why, but it bothered him that she wouldn't talk about the dream with him. He had kept her at arm's length for so long, maybe that was why she was having trouble telling him.

She sat back further and said, "you don't understand." He started to say something and she placed her fingers over his mouth. "I can't tell anybody, I can't get it out."

"Does this happen a lot?" It didn't make him feel any better that she couldn't talk about the dream.

"Recently, it has."

"Because of the lack of sleep?" he asked.

"Probably that and the stress of both the lawsuit and yesterday's coverage."

"I want to help, any way I can." He had no idea that she'd not been able to talk about anything that had happened. Some of this was the Middle East and some of it was the way he'd treated her and some of it was Dantana and the lawsuit, let alone how stressful their normal jobs could be.

She thought about what he was saying. When she thought about it, he was probably the only one who could help. "This weekend, we can try to talk about it, okay?"

"Only if you want to, you don't have to, you know."

She nodded and wiped her cheeks. When she looked up at him she said, "thanks."

"I love you, Kenz. I hate to see you hurting."

She hugged him, placing her arms around his neck once again, this time with her mouth next to his ear she whispered, "I love you, Billy." She felt him tighten his arms around her. She leaned her head back and said, "I love you."

His lips were on hers faster than she thought he could move. After a few moments he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

"What time did Charlie want us in the office?" she asked, leaning back.

Will looked guilty. "It's okay, I know he didn't want us in until later," she said, her hand on his cheek.

"Four." She turned to look at the clock; it was 11:30am.

"Okay." It worried him that she was okay not going into the office until much later. When she came back Charlie had said she was exhausted, had she ever recovered? Somehow, he didn't think so.

"You want some coffee? It's in the thermal pot, so it's still hot," he explained. It wasn't that he was nervous, necessarily, but they'd not woken up together in a long time and before bed it was awkward. He'd hoped that the awkwardness was going to be over.

"Please."

He reached for the pot and poured her a cup of coffee, leaving room for cream and sugar. "Still cream and sugar?"

"Yes, please."

He busied himself fixing her coffee and then handed her the cup. She took a sip and closed her eyes, "perfect, thanks. Has the suit been filed?"

"I've not checked."

"Will," she said, reaching for her Blackberry. She quickly scrolled through her emails, not finding anything. "We can't pretend it's not happening."

Will grabbed his laptop and brought it onto the bed. He opened it up and began searching. Mac had moved behind him so she could read over his shoulder. He was looking through the search results when Mac said, "click on this one." He did as she asked. He noticed that she was sitting close to him, but she wasn't touching him. So, the awkwardness wasn't gone. She used to drape herself across his back when they were both looking at something on the laptop.

She quickly read the release and looked at him, waiting for him to finish reading. "Why hasn't the suit been filed?" he asked. "What's he waiting for?"

"Maybe the threat was just that, a threat," she suggested.

"There's more going on. Wonder what Rebecca knows?" he asked reaching for his phone. He pressed a few buttons and when she answered he said, "it's Will. What's going on?"

"We got a call a few minutes ago from Dantana's lawyers, they want to meet," Rebecca explained.

"Just the lawyers," he clarified.

"Yes."

"When's the meeting?"

"An hour, at my office."

"Keep me updated," Will said and disconnected.

He turned to Mac and said, "Dantana's lawyers asked for a meeting with Rebecca. Her office, in an hour."

"What's he playing at?" Mac asked, getting out of bed. She walked to the windows and turned back to Will. "He's threatened the suit, but then didn't file. Does he know he won't win? Has he come to accept that, his responsibility in all this?"

Will closed the computer and put it back on the bedside table. "Rebecca will let us know what's going on. You hungry?"

She shook her head, "too soon."

"I don't understand."

"I'm a little nauseous."

"From your dream?" He really didn't understand.

She could tell he didn't understand from the look on his face. "I know it doesn't make sense to you, but yes."

He held up his hands and said, "just asking, Mac."

"I'm sorry. Yes, the anxiety can cause me to be nauseous. It's not too bad, but enough to put me off food for a little while. And before you ask, coffee, for some reason, doesn't bother my stomach." She didn't move back to the bed. She stood by the windows, leaning her head against the glass.

"What can I do to help?" he asked, getting out of bed and coming to stand next to her. He tucked her hair behind her ear so he could see her face and sat against the cabinet, next to her.

"Do you have any ginger ale?"

He smiled, knowing her next question would be about crushed ice. He decided to tell her before she had to ask. "Ginger ale in crushed ice coming up," he said and turned to leave, but before he could do so she grabbed his hand.

He turned back to her and cocked his head. "Thank you."

He kissed her quickly and said, "you're welcome. Right back." When he came back she was sitting up in bed, reading on her phone. He handed her the drink and sat next to her. "Anything interesting?"

"Office gossip," she said and shut down her email and placed her phone on the nightstand. After taking a few sips of the ginger ale she placed her glass next to her phone.

"Anything good?"

"Not really. Do you mind if I take a shower?" she asked.

"Let me find you some towels," he said getting off the bed. He'd walked out of the bedroom and came back a few moments later with a big fluffy white towel set that he carried into the bathroom. "Come on," he said, holding out his hand. She looked nervous and then it hit him, maybe she thought he was inviting himself into her shower. "Let me show you the controls to the world's greatest shower and when you're done I want to know if you agree it's the world's greatest shower." He was trying to get her to both relax and smile. It worked.

"Show me," she said, taking his hand.

He led her into the bathroom and said, "I had the bathroom remodeled not too long ago."

"The shower is larger now, right?" She wasn't sure if she was remembering correctly.

"Not too much, but it is bigger, wider I guess is really the difference. The controls are electronic, so you set the water temperature and all the various other settings from here and then start when you're ready."

She was looking at him like he had a second head. "It's great, I promise. Do you want me to set your shower up?"

"Sure, you work on that while I brush my teeth," she said and walked to the sink and pulled her toothbrush from her kit.

Will was busy watching her move around his bathroom. She caught his eyes in the mirror and smiled around her toothbrush. They were in a weird place, but the more time they spent together the more normal this would feel, she reasoned. When she finished with her teeth she pulled off the t-shirt she was wearing and pulled off her yoga pants. She was standing there in a bra and underwear.

Will couldn't take his eyes off of her. She walked over to him and asked, "all programmed?"

"What?"

She could see that she had his full attention. She smiled at him and said, "the shower, did you get it programmed?"

He shook his head and tried to concentrate on the control. "What would you like your water temperature to be?"

"One hundred degrees, please."

"Okay. I've got the jets set to your height, and the temperature programmed. Once you get in, if the water pressure is too hard you press the down arrow on the control panel in the shower."

"Thank you," she said reaching around behind herself to unhook her bra. She let it slide down her arms and he was staring at her chest. There was nothing he wanted more than to reach out and touch her. But he didn't know if they were there yet. She reached up and put her hand on his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

When he pulled her tight against him she could feel his erection, making her moan against his mouth. When the kiss broke he rested his forehead against hers and he had his hands on her cheeks. "You enjoy your shower and if you're feeling up to it afterwards I'll fix us some lunch."

"Sounds good, thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, moving back and taking one final look at her before leaving the bathroom.

Mac finished undressing and walked into the shower. She had to agree with Will, he had a great shower. There were streams of water coming from every possible direction. She played with the control panel changing the water pressure and a few other settings before getting to the business of washing. By the time she was done her impression of the shower had grown. She couldn't wait to take a shower with Will. She dried off and combed her hair and pulled back on his t-shirt, sans bra this time and her yoga pants.


	2. Chapter 2

When she walked into the living room he was sitting on the couch watching ACN. "What did you think?" he asked with a smile.

"I love your shower. It is great, you're right. Only one thing was missing."

"What's that?"

"You," she said. That made him smile. He loved it when she flirted with him.

"I'll shower with you any time, Kenz," he said, taking her hand and pulling her onto the couch.

She thought he was pulling her down to sit next to him, but he moved further down the couch and pulled her so that she was now lying atop him.

"You okay?" he asked.

Instead of replying she leaned down and kissed him, pushing her tongue into his mouth, stroking and teasing his. He had his hands on her hips and pulled her into him as he arched his hips up, causing them both to moan.

"Fuck, Billy," she said, breathless, when she pulled out of the kiss.

"I've been hard since you took your bra off in the bathroom," he confessed.

She moved her hand down to his cock and squeezed him through his sleep pants. He quickly moved her hand away and brought it to his mouth so he could kiss and nibble on her fingers.

"Too close?" she asked.

He stopped playing with her hand and helped her sit up on him. "I don't care how close I am, the first time we make love it's going to be over way too quickly. I'm so on edge with you, I always have been."

"You think I'm not?" she asked. "You can look at me and make me wet." That made him smile.

"Can we talk some?" he asked.

"Sure, want me to move?"

He shook his head. "You feel good. Please stay," he said, his hands on her legs.

"Okay. What did you want to talk about?" she asked, rubbing his chest.

"I need to make sure you're okay. We jumped from being friends to engaged with nothing in between."

"You know that's why things are awkward, right? We need time to get acclimated to one another, again."

"I hate that it's awkward."

"We need to spend time together, talking, hanging out, cooking and sleeping. It will get better faster than you think."

His hand was in her hair, caressing her. "Are you still on the pill?"

"No. I switched to an IUD."

"Why'd you switch?"

"It's easier. No pill to be forgotten or refills that are hard to find over seas. Are you okay?"

"Honestly, Kenz, I thought this would be easier. It's not like we haven't ever been together before and we were very comfortable."

"It's different now. We'll get comfortable, we will." He took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth for a kiss. "We know each other very well, but for a long time we've kept each other at arm's length. To expect us to immediately be comfortable in these new roles isn't realistic. I'm not used to being able to put my arm around you, or kiss you whenever I feel like it, and you aren't either, Billy."

"I want us to be comfortable," he said petulantly. She chuckled and smiled at him. Instead of trying to talk about the whys she leaned down and kissed him.

He held her tight against him and managed to turn them over without falling off the couch. "God, you feel good," she said as he settled between her legs. His mouth was on her neck, teasing by nibbling and kissing her playfully. He kept himself pressed against her and very slowly he stroked his way to her breast, through her shirt. As he took her breast in his hand he pulled back so he could see her face.

"Okay?" he asked.

"Fuck yes," she moaned and arched up into him.

He stopped the movements of his hand and said, "open your eyes, Kenz." When she did as he asked, he moved his hands so that they were holding her head, totally focused on one another. "Are you ready for us to make love?"

After a couple of moments she said, "I'm not sure. Are you?"

"I want you," he started to say when she put her fingers over his mouth, stopping him.

"I want you, too, it's not that. Are we emotionally ready to begin that part of our relationship again?"

"I don't know," he said honestly.

She patted his side and said, "sit up a second." He did as she asked and she moved into the corner of the couch and held her arms out, "come here." He moved so that he was resting in her arms. She was letting them both calm down some. "Do we need to be more comfortable with each other before we make love?" she asked.

"I think it's going to be awkward if we aren't. We'll both get off, but I'm not sure it will be emotionally satisfying and us making love is about us connecting on a physical level, but also an emotional level. Don't think I don't want you, desperately."

She smiled. She loved that he was so open to talking about this with her. She was playing with his hair, running her fingers through the strands. "I know you want me, and I want you. It's not a question of wanting one another. If we made love right now would I be emotionally satisfied, yes, I would. But if we took the time to tease and play and get comfortable for a couple of days, would that make it even better? I think it would."

"Thanks for talking about this," he said and kissed her cheek. "I think you're right. It would be physically satisfying, but I want us to both be ready. I don't want it to be awkward, or a quickie because we have to be at the studio. I want us to be able to take our time, reconnect and make love when we're both ready."

"How about we spend the rest of this week reconnecting, personally. Which probably means a lot of talking, but also cuddling and making out and sleeping together. I need to get some clothes if we're spending the rest of the week here, though."

He thought about what she said. "I don't care if we're here or at your apartment, as long as we're together."

"We can stay at my place some," she said.

"Can we stay there tonight?"

"Sure, that's fine with me," she said. "We could go over there this afternoon and take our things before going to the studio."

"Okay, let's do that. I need to grab a quick shower and pack a bag, but then we can head over and maybe get some lunch out. How does that sound?"

"Like a very good idea," she said, leaning in to kiss him. They lay there kissing and touching one another, not wanting to let the other go. Will arched his hips into her when he felt her touch his erection through his pants. "Are you okay?" When she looked at him, he had his eyes closed, tight. "It's okay, Billy," she said, rubbing him gently.

All of a sudden he grabbed her hand, stopping any movement. "You need to stop."

She wasn't sure what was wrong but she stopped as he asked. "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to go take a shower, and pack a bag," he said getting off of the couch and walked to the bedroom.

He knew the second he got off the couch that that had been the wrong thing to do. He didn't think that she'd come after him. They weren't there yet. They weren't comfortable. Him walking away certainly wasn't the way to help them get comfortable with each other. And really, all she was doing was touching him. He'd been touching her, so what was his problem?

Mac had no idea what had just happened. She sat there trying to figure it out. They were trying to get comfortable with each other again. If he didn't want her touching him that was probably something he needed to tell her. Plus it wasn't as if he hadn't been playing with her breast a few minutes earlier. But if he wasn't there, he wasn't there and she wouldn't push. They needed time to get used to one another again.

While he was in the shower she quickly dressed and brought her bag to the living room.

When he came out he had on jeans and a navy blue sweater and he was carrying his overnight bag. She was reading something on her Blackberry when he sat down next to her. She didn't stop reading.

"Mac?"

"Yes," she answered, not looking at him.

He knew he brought this on himself and now he was going to pay the price. He reached for her Blackberry and took it from her, placing it on the table in front of them. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulder and said, "it's okay." She wasn't trying to touch him, or lean into him. He really put them back by his actions earlier.

"No, it's not, Mackenzie. Please look at me."

When she did as he asked he could see how upset she was and he put his arm around her. She didn't move toward him, or take any comfort from him at all.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked.

He knew that tone. She wasn't going to talk any time soon. She needed some time. "Sure, we can go," he said. He stood up and held his hand out for her. He wasn't sure she was going to take his hand but finally she did, but it was only to help her off the couch. She grabbed her bag and purse and walked to the elevator with him following. It was very awkward again. When they made it to the street Manny hailed them a cab and Mac gave her address to the driver. They didn't speak the entire way to Mac's apartment. Will never knew what a long drive it could be from his apartment to hers. It seemingly was never ending.

When they got to Mac's building her doorman opened the door and said hello to her. She returned the greeting and asked about his family. They chatted for a moment and she introduced Will to her doorman. They made their way upstairs and Mac opened her door.

"Let me have your bag," she said. He handed her his bag and watched as she walked into her bedroom. When she came back out he was still standing in the entryway. "You can sit down. Do you want something to drink?"

"Are you having anything?"

"Some water."

"I'll take a bottle, please," he said.

"Still or sparkling?"

"Still, please," he said and moved to sit on the couch. Mac walked into the kitchen and grabbed two waters and handed one to him as she sat on the couch. "Are you hungry?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go for lunch?"

"I don't suppose you have any food, do you?" He hadn't meant it as a dig but when he looked at her she had her eyes closed. He was batting a thousand.

"There's stuff for a salad and there's ham and cheese here. There might be some eggs."

"I didn't mean anything by that," he said. "You never really had food when you had an apartment here, before," he tried to explain.

"We're not those people any more. It's been six years, things change."

He got up off the couch and walked to her window. "I know things change, Mackenzie."

"Why did you pull away from me?" He was surprised she came out and asked him. "If you don't want me to touch you, that's something you need to tell me."

"I'm not sure why I stopped you and pulled away," he said.

"We don't have to talk about it, Will. Not now. Do you want to eat here, or go out?"

She wasn't even calling him Billy. "Let's go out, your choice. What do you feel like?"

"I don't care. I'm not really hungry," she said.

He came to sit in front of her on the table by the couch. "Are you not hungry, or are you nauseous?"

He wanted to know everything about her and give nothing up of himself. This wasn't going to be one sided. "Both."

"Do you want to lie down? Would that help?" he asked.

"I think I will lay down for a bit. Make yourself at home," she said and walked into her bedroom. A few minutes later he was standing in her doorway, watching her. "You can come in here, I don't mind."

"May I lay down with you?"

She held up the covers as her answer. He toed off his shoes and slipped into bed behind her. His arm went around her stomach and he felt her tense up. "I'm sorry," he said and moved back from her. "Do you want me to leave?"

"I want to understand, but you don't seem willing to help me do that, Will," she said and turned onto her back.

"It wasn't one of my finest moments," he said, still on his side.

"Do you not want me to touch you? It's okay if you aren't there, but I need you to tell me my boundaries."

"I don't want us to have any boundaries with each other. I'm sorry I pulled away."

"One minute we're lying on the couch, kissing and touching each other, both of us. The next minute you ask me to stop and you have your eyes squeezed shut. What was going through your head?"

When he didn't respond she started to touch his cheek, but stopped just before touching him.

"Fuck. You can touch me. Don't start second guessing yourself."

Her hand was caressing his cheek. "What was going through your head?"

"How much I wanted you. But, we weren't ready and we aren't ready. We're still awkward and we've spent most of this afternoon on very different pages."

"We will get there," she said. "I want you just as much as you want me. But, we've got to get there, together."

"I know, I swear, I do know, Kenz."

She kissed him gently and said, "easy. I know you do. Talking helps, Billy."

"May I hold you?"

"You don't have to ask," she said and turned on her side and pulled his arm around her, lacing their fingers together on her stomach. She could feel him reacting to the closeness but didn't move to take anything further.

She was letting him hold her but he still felt that awkwardness between them that hadn't been there before he got off the couch earlier.

"You touching me felt really good," he whispered in her ear.

"Good, it's supposed to," she said and brought his hand to her mouth so she could kiss the back.

That was the last they talked for a couple of hours. Will's phone ringing woke them up. He reached into his pocket and saw that it was Rebecca. He quickly answered and listened to her. Mac had turned onto her back and was watching him. When he disconnected Mac asked, "did she meet with Dantana's lawyers?"

"She did. She wants to meet with us as soon as we can get to the studio. She's already there, talking with Charlie, Reese and Leona."

Mac sat up and started to get off the bed when Will's hand stopped her. "I don't know what she wants to talk about, but whatever it is we'll deal with it together, Mac. I love you."

"I love you, too," she said and got off the bed. "Let me change and we can go in." She disappeared into her bathroom. When she came out she was dressed for work.

They made their way to the studio and for all of the awkwardness at home; there was none when they arrived at work. Mac went to her office and Will went to his. Will had called Rebecca and she explained that she'd be down to meet with them when she could. Mac had Jim in her office going over the stories they were working on for the broadcast.

"Hey, Mac, I'm going to order…I'm sorry," he said when he saw Jim in with Mac.

"What do you need?"

"I'm going to order some food, any preference?"

"No, whatever you want is fine."

"Okay, I'll let you know when it arrives. Sorry to interrupt," Will said and walked out of Mac's office.

Jim could tell something was up, but he didn't press and went back to telling Mac about the stories and what was going on with everyone, where their stories were at and his direction for the show that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Mac was reading the New York Times when Will next came into her office. He sat down a bag of food on her desk. "Would you like to eat and work, or just eat?" he asked.

"I think eat and work. I feel so far behind."

"Okay," he said. "Rebecca is still up with Leona but she said she'd be down as soon as she could." He pulled out several containers of Chinese food.

"That smells wonderful. I don't actually remember the last time I ate." That worried him.

"You're stomach's okay?"

"Yes," she said reaching for the fried rice.

He decided then that he needed to make sure that she was eating, not just snacking and getting by with Red Bull and peanut butter. If he needed to have food brought in daily, he'd do that. After he thought about that he decided it wasn't a bad idea. He could sell it as a perk for the team and food would be around for her, when she was hungry. He'd talk to Charlie to make sure he was okay with the idea.

"How's the show coming together?"

"A lot of packages, follow up on the election, and a couple of profiles of new members of Congress. Sloan wants to look at the election from an economic standpoint."

"I'm glad we're doing a lot of packages. Is Sloan pissed at me?"

She turned her head trying to figure out why Sloan would be pissed. "Not that I'm aware, why?"

"She didn't get a lot of talk time last night and I didn't know if she was upset about that, or not."

Mac smiled at him. "She won't be. Too many other things happened for her last night that supersede her time on the air."

"What happened that I don't know about?" he asked.

"She figured out that Don bought the book at the auction for Sandy Relief and just before you called the race she came into the control room, signed another copy, kissed Don and slapped the book on his chest."

"She what?" he asked, genuinely surprised. "Wow." Mac smiled and nodded. "Is that why Don stationed himself next to the camera and didn't move?" Again, a nod. "Have you talked to them today?"

"Don's here and I'm sure Sloan is around somewhere, too, but I've not seen her yet."

They talked more about the show and what people were working on and it was easy, and there were no concerns and no second-guessing. This part of their relationship was working fine. After they'd finished eating Will took the leftovers to the kitchen for the rest of the staff to finish off.

Just before the six o'clock meeting Mac walked into Will's office. He was writing and held up one finger before she began talking. She watched him type a few more words, finishing up his thought before turning his attention to her. "What's up?"

"Have you seen Rebecca?"

"No, not yet. I've not seen Charlie, either."

"Something's up," Mac said.

The wardrobe supervisor dropping off Will's suit interrupted them. "Isn't that the suit with the funny pants?" Mac asked.

"It is," he said looking at the suit. "Can't we take that one out of the rotation?"

Mac made a note and said, "I'll take care of it. Wear it tonight and I'll get it taken out. We'll put a new Armani in the rotation."

"Thanks."

"You ready to go to the meeting?"

"Let me print this and I am," he said hitting a few keys on his computer.

The show went off without a hitch. They were in sync and everything just worked. Will had received an email from Charlie's assistant explaining that Rebecca was with Charlie and Leona and that they wouldn't be able to meet until tomorrow. After the show Mac was in her office when Will came in, after he'd changed. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," she said, gathering her things. He helped her on with her coat and together they went downstairs to catch a cab. Mac gave the driver her address and rested her head against his shoulder. When they arrived at Mac's place she put her things away and went to change, coming out in yoga pants and a camisole. Will had changed into his sleep pants and a t-shirt and was sitting on the couch watching ESPN. She sat down next to him and said, "I'm going to bed," and kissed him.

"You want company?"

"If you'd like. I'm exhausted and I guarantee I'll be asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Why don't you stay and watch whatever game is coming on next," she suggested, knowing he wasn't ready for bed.

"Okay, I'll be in soon," he said and kissed her. He watched her walk back to the bedroom and shut the door part way.

Many hours later Mac walked into the living room as she could see the glow from the television and Will wasn't in bed. She walked around the couch to pick up the remote and saw him awake, lying on the couch, the television muted, staring up at the ceiling. "Did you fall asleep out here?" He shook his head and she sat down on the edge of the couch. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking," he said, his voice a little rough.

She smiled at him. "Thinking about what?"

He shifted over, giving her a bit more room and said, "I'm trying to figure out why I pulled away from you."

Her hand was on his chest, rubbing gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He nodded his head. She stopped rubbing his chest and held her hand out for him and stood up. He took her hand and got off the couch. She turned off the television and led him back to the bedroom. "Where's your nightlight?"

"On that far wall."

He held the covers up for her and slipped into bed behind her. She was on her back and said, "come here." He easily went into her arms and rested his head on her chest.

"I can't figure out why, Mac."

"Maybe because you're trying too hard to figure it out. We're awkward with one another when we aren't in the studio. Did you notice that today?"

"We couldn't have been more different. Maybe it's learning to open up when it's you and me, not EP and anchor."

"We've had more time to solidify our professional relationship. Do you remember when I first came back how even our professional relationship wasn't on the same page, either?" she asked.

She could see him thinking back to how they were. "You didn't even want me to speak to you while you were on the air."

"I didn't get my way, as I remember it, then, either."

"Please, I wouldn't let you keep me from doing my job. I'm a bit more…."

"Strong willed, hard-headed," Will provided.

"Professional is what I was going to say." He smiled at her. "We know what's at stake now and maybe that's adding pressure to not screw it up, but we've got to relax, Billy."

He knew she was talking more about him. She had always been one to open up and be willing to talk and listen, and easily forgive.

"I'm sorry I pulled away from you," he said quietly.

She lifted her head and kissed his, her fingers raking through the strands of his hair. "You're forgiven. I know it's hard to go from only having a professional relationship to this. We'll get there, Billy, I know we will. It's not always going to be easy, but things that are worth it rarely are easy."

"I don't want you to think I don't want you to touch me, or that it makes me uncomfortable in any way. I love you. I want you and you make me feel so good when you touch me, even before."

"What do you mean, even before?"

"When I was trying to keep you at arm's length. You'd touch my arm, or back, or pat my shoulder or even be close to me when we were talking. You're very tactile."

"That's called loving you. I love you, so much."

"Even when I was punishing you?" he asked quietly and turned so he could look at her.

"Especially then. The punishments actually made me try harder."

"I didn't realize at the time that I was punishing you. I thought about it after you asked what the new punishment was going to be. I need to be better to you. I've put you through some bad times. I'm sorry, Kenz."

"You're forgiven. Did you want to talk about the couch incident any more, tonight?"

"Not tonight, okay? But I do think we need to talk some more about that and why it happened."

"We will," she said, running her hand through his hair. "Are you going to be able to sleep?"

He lifted himself off of her and cuddled up right next to her. "I'll be able to sleep, how about you?"

She nodded. They lay there together and very shortly after they'd finished talking Mac's breathing had evened out and she was asleep. He closed his eyes and followed her into slumber.

Will was the first one awake, again. He walked out to the living room after finishing up in the bathroom. He grabbed his phone and called Rebecca. They'd never caught up yesterday.

"This is Rebecca," she said when she answered.

"Good morning, it's Will."

"Good morning. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk with you yesterday."

"What's going on? Why did Dantana's lawyers ask for a meeting?"

"He's having second thoughts, or maybe they are first thoughts since he thought we'd cave and pay him off," Rebecca explained. "Either way things are on hold for now. That could change at any time."

"You'll keep me updated?"

"Of course. Talk to you later, Will."

"Bye," Will said and disconnected. He walked back to the bedroom door where Mac was still asleep. In all the time he'd known Mac she was always up early and stayed up late, usually working. All this stillness and time spent asleep had him worried. He grabbed his laptop and began going through his messages, sitting on the bed. He felt this pull to sit by her side, to make sure she was okay.

He'd gone through his work email box and then his personal email box, deleting most of the personal messages as junk. His agent sent him a listing of invites for the next month, the bolded ones had already been accepted and he'd asked if Will would like to accept any of the others. He forwarded that email to Mac's personal account to see if there was anything she'd like to attend and to make sure that she was aware of the events he'd be attending, hopefully with her, if her calendar were clear.

She made a noise in her sleep that drew his attention. He put his laptop on the bedside table and moved closer to her, rubbing her back, hopefully, helping her through her dream. She seemed to settle back down, but instead of going back to his computer he stayed cuddled up with her. Mac rolled toward him and he pulled her against his chest so he could hold her. She was still on his chest when her alarm sounded. He reached for the alarm and silenced the noise. He had no idea why Mac had a duck quacking as an alarm. She settled back against his chest and fell back asleep. He'd let her sleep for as long as she could and he'd happily hold her for that time.

About an hour later he felt her stir and opened his eyes, watching her wake. "Good morning," he said, running his fingers through her hair.

She mumbled a reply which he thought was, "good morning," against his chest. "What time is it?"

"7:30."

She sat up quickly but he grabbed ahold of her. "You needed the extra sleep," he said, answering her yet unasked question.

"I definitely do, but we've also got to go to the office. I'm sure Jim is already there," she said.

"I'd bet Maggie, too," he added. "Go hop in the shower and I'll fix us some breakfast, unless you'd like to get something on the way in."

"I'd like a bagel and cream cheese, which I know I'll feel guilty about eating by lunch time, but it sounds really good."

"Then we'll get bagels. The deli by the office has good ones," he said.

She eased herself to a more comfortable sitting position and rubbed her eyes. "I feel like I could sleep for another few hours."

"Two more days and you'll have two completely down days. We don't even have to get out of our pajamas. If you'll give me a list of food you'd like, I'll have it delivered."

He really did have a heart the size of a Range Rover.

Mac went to take her shower and he brought the paper inside and was reading when she came out dressed for work. "There's coffee," he said, still reading the paper. He also had the television turned on.

"Thanks. I put towels out for you," she explained. He finished up the article he was reading and closed the paper.

"Thank you. I'm going to go jump in the shower. I won't be long," he said.

They were functioning better than the day before. It wasn't completely smooth, but they were getting there.

Mac was reading the paper when Will came out, his hair still a little damp. "Feel better," Mac asked.

"I do, thanks."

"Where are we staying tonight?" she asked.

"Up to you. Do you think that's something we can talk about this weekend?" he asked coming into the kitchen.

"Of course we can," she said, taking his hand.

"Thanks," he said and leaned down to kiss her.

Their interactions in the office continued to be completely normal. They were cautious at whichever apartment they called home for the night. Will was getting more insight into how truly exhausted Mackenzie was, and it wasn't just from Genoa. This started, he thought, we they broke up, before.

It was Friday night and Will had just thrown to Terry Smith in Washington. Mac was walking to her office when Will walked into the bullpen. "Let me change and we'll get out of here," he said as he continued to his office.

Mac gathered her things and shut down her computer while she was waiting for him. She'd brought a suitcase with her to take to Will's apartment for the weekend. He'd promised her they wouldn't leave the apartment and even went as far as to say they wouldn't get out of their pajamas. She had other plans where their clothing was concerned.

Will joined her in her office a couple of minutes later. He took her suitcase and held out his hand for her. "You ready to go home?"

She took his hand and nodded. She looked very tired. They'd had a full day with breaking news, but that shouldn't have made her tired. He wondered when she last saw a doctor.

He led them downstairs to a waiting car, handing off her luggage to the driver. Mac was quiet on the drive to his apartment, leaning her head back against the seat, keeping her eyes closed. She knew she was worrying him. She'd caught him watching her several times during the day, but said nothing. She was serious about resting the entire weekend. She hoped he was serious when he said that they wouldn't get out of their pajamas the entire weekend because that was her plan. Well, except for the times she was out of them so they could make love, she'd happily be out of them, then.

She felt the car stop and Will was touching her hand. "Mac, come on, wake up for just a minute and we'll go inside and you can go back to bed."

She rallied, sat up and let him help her out of the car. He took her luggage and pulled it along behind them as they walked into the building. She'd woken up more as they rode up the elevator. When they got into the apartment he asked, "did you want to sleep, or are you hungry?"

"I'm not hungry, but I'm not ready to go to sleep yet, either. Maybe a glass of wine and some time on the balcony."

"Red?" he asked.

"Please."

Will started toward the kitchen when she added, "I'm going to change. I'll meet you on the balcony."

Will found the bottle of wine he was looking for and opened it, letting it breathe. He got two wine glasses and took them, and the bottle of wine out to the balcony. When Mac joined him a few minutes later she'd washed off all of her make up and had on her pajamas and slippers. He was sitting in one of the chairs and pulled her onto his lap, holding her, enjoying the closeness. He handed her a glass and poured her some wine and then poured some for himself.

"This is good," she said.

"It's a small winery upstate. I had it at an event not too long ago and knew I had to pick some up. Do you want an Ambien, or anything else to help you relax?"

She smiled at him. "Are you suggesting I get high?"

"It would relax you," he suggested.

"It's been forever since I've been high," she said, but didn't turn down the opportunity.

"If you want to, later, just tell me and I've got everything already. May I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Have you seen a doctor recently?"

She knew he was so very worried about her. "I've seen my therapist, I've seen my gynecologist, and I've seen my internist."

"Any of them help?"

"Well, my internist told me that I was not anemic."

"Is there something wrong, Kenz?"

She stared at him for a moment and finally she said, "I don't think so. I'm exhausted, but I've not really slept since Genoa so that could explain the exhaustion."

"When you first came back Charlie said you were exhausted; that you hadn't slept more than four hours a night for over two years. I'm not sure you ever let yourself get over that," he said, tucking some hair behind her ear.

She thought about what he said and snuggled against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder and against his head. "I don't think I did, either. There was always something that needed doing, so I plowed ahead."

"Keep calm and carry on, right?"

She laughed and smacked his side, gently. "Yes, something like that."

"I know it will take some time for you to recover, but I'd like it if you'd go away with me for a couple of weeks; just you and me, sitting on a beach somewhere. Complete privacy. No work, nothing any more strenuous than reading and making love. I'll make sure we're somewhere there aren't any jelly fish."

"That sounds lovely."

"Can we make that happen soon?"

She didn't want to burst his bubble, but it really depended on what happened with the lawsuit and Dantana. "Let's ask Charlie. Maybe around Thanksgiving we could get away."

"Where do you want to go, the Caribbean?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. There's Hawaii, and Puerto Rico."

"Mexico," he suggested. "I like the Hawaii idea, though."

"Me, too," she said.

"Let's find a place in Hawaii. It will be plenty warm."

"Hawaii, it is then," she agreed.

"Do you feel like talking a bit more?" he didn't want to push her if she really didn't want to talk.

She handed him her wine glass and he placed it on the table, along with his and then wrapped his arms around her. "I'm okay to talk some."

"Thanks," he said kissing her temple. "We've been bouncing around this week from here to your apartment."

"Yes," she said, thinking she knew where this was going. "Do you want to talk about our living situation?"

"I do. It took us a long time to get back here and I want us to be together, living together. What do you think?" he asked.

"I'd like that. I don't want us to go to separate apartments after the show. I want to go home with you, have dinner with you and sleep with you." She could feel the beginnings of an erection from her place on his lap.

"That sounds perfect. Will you move in here, with me?"

She smiled and sat up so she was now straddling his legs, pressed up against him, her hands in his hair. "I'd love to, thank you," she said and leaned in to kiss him. She was slowly rocking her hips against his rapidly growing erection.

He moved his hands to her hips and pulled her against him as he arched up into her.

"Fuck, Billy, you feel so good." She reached down to touch him through his pants. "Okay?"

"Yes, more than okay. I love you, Kenz."

"I love you, too. Want to go lay down?"

He wanted her, that was for sure, but he also wanted her to rest some. "How about I give you a massage and try to help you relax some?" he suggested.

She leaned in to kiss him, her hands playing with his hair. She knew he was slowing them down and honestly, she was okay with that. She didn't want to be tired when they made love. She wanted to concentrate on him and take her time with him. "That sounds lovely," she said and he helped her off of his lap. She took his hand and led him back to the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom he stopped her and pulled her into his arms. "When do you want to move in?"

"When would you like me to move in?"

"As soon as possible. There's plenty of room in the closet," he said, as he kissed his way down the column of her throat.

"Okay. I'll start packing and finding storage."

He pulled back so her could see her and said, "I've got a huge storage unit that isn't even a quarter full, and so you can add your things."

"Thanks. So, as soon as I pack my clothes and a few personal items, I'll get them moved over here."

"I can't wait," he said smiling. "Come on, lay down on your stomach."

She did as he asked and he started with her shoulders. He kept watching her reactions to how he was massaging her back. What area he massaged that made her moan, and where he felt knots in her muscles. After only a few minutes he'd seen her eyes close and now her breathing had evened out and she was asleep.

Will grabbed his Blackberry and moved to his side of the bed, reading his email. There was an email inviting him to speak at a New Hampshire Republican event in a few weeks. He replied that he'd check his schedule and get back to them. Really, he wanted to check with Mac, to see if she'd go with him.

After he read all his messages and caught up with ESPN he changed into his sleep pants and t-shirt and got under the covers. When he'd settled Mac cuddled up to his side.


	4. Chapter 4

When he woke, Mac was lying on her side and he was molded around her, his arm over her stomach, holding her close to him. He stretched and kissed her head. She moved back against him, her hand coming around his arm. "Sshhh, go back to sleep, Kenz, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't, I've been awake for a while. I've been lying here enjoying feeling you all around me," she said, pushing her hips back into him. The room had a glow from all of the ambient light coming through the floor to ceiling windows. She'd wondered if it every really got dark in the bedroom.

He took his lead from her and slipped his hand underneath her shirt, caressing her stomach. She turned in his arms onto her back so she could see his face. He kept exploring her stomach, moving further toward her breasts with each stroke. She reached up to stroke his cheek. He leaned down and gently kissed her, his tongue pushing for access to her mouth. When she opened her mouth his tongue was immediately stroking hers. He stopped kissing her, but kept his forehead pressed against hers. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, Billy. I want to feel you inside me, are you ready?"

He was smiling at her when he said, "I can't wait. Are you ready?"

She nodded and pulled him so he was lying against her, his mouth on hers.

He moved to lie between her legs, resting his weight on his elbows so he could touch her. With one finger he traced her eyebrows and down her nose to her mouth. She pulled his finger into her mouth, her tongue wrapping around the digit, staring into his eyes. She suckled his finger, causing him to close his eyes, concentrating on the feeling.

She was enjoying watching his reactions. She wanted him to feel so good. One hand slipped under the waistband of his sleep pants. She wanted to make him feel good.

When he felt her hand on his ass he opened his eyes. He pulled his finger from her mouth and pushed his hand under her shirt, teasing his way to her breast, his fingers scissoring the nipple, causing her to arch into him. "Feel good?"

"Very," she said smiling. He played with her nipple and nipped at her breast through her shirt, but he desperately wanted her out of her shirt.

He sat up and said, "lean up a bit." He pulled her shirt over her head and threw it off of the bed. He was sitting there staring at her. After a few moments he said, "you are so gorgeous."

Her hand made its way to her breast where she was tugging on her nipple, and twisting it gently. "Thanks." His hand replaced hers on her breast. "I love when you touch me, it feels so good, Billy."

Another way he'd forgotten how she was unlike all the other women he'd ever been with. They would stop talking to him, or the time between sentences would be long, but not Mackenzie. She was loquacious by nature and sex seemed to encourage more communication. Will loved to hear her talk, any time, but especially when they were making love. It gave them one more connection. "Good thing I love touching you."

She took hold of the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing it on the floor with her shirt. Her hand went right to a scar on his shoulder. She sat up and kissed the scar. Yet another thing he'd forgotten about. One of the first times she saw him without a shirt she'd asked about the scar and that started what would become how she knew about his troubled childhood and the hell he was put through by his father. Every time she saw him without a shirt, she would always kiss the scar. She kissed her way across his shoulder and to his neck, where she nipped gently. He was touched that she remembered about kissing the scar on his shoulder. She was the first person he'd told everything. There were others that knew bits and pieces, but he was comfortable enough with her to be able to tell her everything. It hadn't been easy, but she sat there with him any time he wanted to talk about his childhood. She'd hold him and make sure he knew he was safe and listen to anything he wanted to talk about. She knew how hard it was for him to tell his stories.

She placed her hands on his cheeks and made sure she had his complete attention and said, "I love you. I've got you. You're safe."

She could see tears in his eyes. She used to say that to him before.

"I love you, so much, Kenz, he whispered and kissed her, sealing their bond.

"I love you, too." She laid back and pulled him against her again. His mouth trailed kisses to her ear while his hand caressed across her chest and pushed his hand underneath her pajama bottoms, his hand coming to rest on her hip. She ran her nails down his back, and pushed her hands back onto his ass, pushing his pants down a little. She needed him out of his pants; she wanted to feel him pressed against her with nothing between them. "Billy, these need to come off, now," she said pushing at his pants.

He lifted himself off of her enough to reach down and push his pants off, with her help. "Your turn," he said, keeping himself off of her so she could push off her pants. She lifted her hips enough to move the fabric from under her and he helped her remove her bottoms and threw them onto the floor with their other clothes. He kissed her and ran his tongue along her cheekbone, stopping to nip at her ear and pulled the lobe into his mouth.

"Billy," she whispered and flipped them over, she was now straddling his hips, her hand on his erection. She knew she wouldn't be able to play with him right now, so she was simply holding his cock.

His hands were on her breasts, his thumbs rubbing her nipples.

"Fuck, that feels good."

He sat up and pulled a nipple into his mouth. She moved one of her hands into his hair, holding him against her breast. He stroked his way down her body, his fingers finding her wetness and spreading it around.

"You always know what I need, how to touch me," she said.

He flipped them back over so that Mac was resting against the bed. He let the nipple pop from his lips and kissed his way to her belly button, where he stuck his tongue in and nipped gently. His reward was her giggles. He didn't think anyone knew how ticklish Mac really was besides him. He pushed one finger into her, immediately stopping her giggles and making her moan. She reached for his hand and he linked their fingers, looking up at her.

"I need to feel you in me, Billy."

That's where he wanted to be, so he positioned himself and pushed into her, then held himself still.

"God, Billy, I'd forgotten how full you make me feel."

He leaned down and asked, "are you okay?"

"Stay still a minute. These muscles haven't been used in a long time." He smiled at that and she added, "we can talk about it later, promise," and squeezed his cock. "Slowly," she said.

He did as she'd asked. He began moving very slowly, letting her adjust to both him and evidently the fact that she hadn't had sex recently. He'd definitely be asking about that later.

She started to reach down, but he intercepted her hand and touched her clit with his fingers. "Jesus," she moaned, her head arched back against the pillows.

He knew that this first time they weren't going to last very long. It had been too long since they'd been together and neither of them had dated anyone recently, or at least hadn't had sex recently.

He massaged her clit and was thrusting just a bit harder than before. "I'm close," she said.

He leaned down and kissed her. "Me, too. I'm going to come when you do," he warned.

"Do it, Billy," she said a smiled at him.

"You know now every time you say that to me in the studio I'm going to get a hard on," he teased and thrust with more force.

His fingers dancing around her clit, teasing, hoping to prolong the feeling when all of a sudden she screamed, "fuck," and began coming. She was shaking and holding onto his arms tightly.

He managed to thrust a few more times before he came and collapsed on her. When he realized he was probably crushing her he lifted himself up and turned over, pulling her against his chest.

Once he was settled on his back she pushed herself up and kissed him. "I love you," she said when she pulled back.

"I love you, Kenz."

"Go ahead and ask," she said, settling back on his shoulder.

"We don't have to talk about it," he said, giving her an out.

"Last man, or last person?" she asked, wanting to know what he really was after and not taking the out he gave her.

"Will you tell me both?" he asked, hedging.

"Greedy boy," she teased. "Last man, Wade. Are you sure you want to know last person?"

"How long ago?"

"Right after Wade," she explained.

"Do I know the woman?"

"You do," she said.

"Sloan?"

Mac smiled and said, "yes, it was Sloan."

"I didn't know Sloan was bi-sexual."

"She's not, she was curious, that's all," Mac explained. "She freaked out afterwards."

"I could see that happening," he said. "You guys are okay, though."

"We are, we worked through it and she figured out that she really was straight."

"Did you ever have any doubt?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair.

She thought about his question, picking up his other hand, playing with and linking their fingers together. "No, not really. I wasn't expecting anything. She'd come out of a bad relationship. Not my smartest move, but when she had her tongue in my mouth, begging me to help her, I couldn't not, you know."

He had his hand in her hair. He kissed her head and said, "I know. How long did it take for her to freak out?"

"After I made her come."

"Did she make you orgasm?" he asked.

"No. I don't know if I was too worried about it being Sloan's first time with a woman, or if it was because it was Sloan…I don't know."

"Sshh, it's okay," he said when he felt her tense. "Relax, Kenz. Don't worry. It sounds like Sloan was rebounding and didn't know what she wanted."

"She didn't."

"Thank you for telling me," he said.

She nodded her head against his shoulder. He kissed her head again and said, "sleep, Kenz." He really didn't need to tell her as her eyes were already closing of their own accord.

The next time he saw her wake up was a couple of hours later. She snuggled up against him. His hand was again in her hair, caressing. "Are you hungry, Kenz?" he asked, looking at the clock. It was early yet. When she didn't respond he lifted his head to look at her again and her eyes were shut. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes.

He woke when he felt her move off of him and get out of bed. He saw her grab his t-shirt and pull it on en route to the bathroom. When she got back he was sitting up in bed.

"Good morning," she said walking back to the bed.

"Morning, Kenz. Are you hungry?"

She stood by the bed and thought about his question. He smiled at her and said, "are you okay? You're not nauseous are you?"

"No, no nausea, but I'm not sure if I'm hungry or not. I should eat something since I can't remember what I ate last."

That got his attention. He moved so he was sitting on the side of the bed and he pulled her to stand between his legs, not letting go of her hands and looking up at her he said, "that needs to stop."

"I know."

"Promise me, please, Mac."

She saw that he was worked up and now worried about her. He was a born worrier and she needed to take better care of herself, for both of them. She leaned down to kiss him and said, "I promise. What's for breakfast?"

"Anything you'd like. The kitchen is stocked. Want to go take a look?"

She nodded and he got up. She had to smile; his hair was sticking up in the back in every possible direction. She, all of a sudden, got a picture of what his son would look like and it gave her pause. He turned around when she stopped walking and cocked his head at her. She smiled and reached to hug him, her arms going around his neck. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.

"I love you, too. You okay?"

She pulled back so she could see his face, but stayed in his arms and said, "perfect."

He smiled and said, "come on, let's find you some food."

Will fixed them breakfast and they retired to the couch, turning on a movie that neither one of them really watched. It simply was an excuse to lay in each other's arms on the couch, not that they needed an excuse. Will lay with her until he had to use the bathroom. On his way back he decided to start part of dinner in the crock-pot. When he'd finished that task he went back to the living room to sit in the chair and watch her sleep. He'd turned on the fireplace and grabbed a book to read.

Several hours later he was in the kitchen when he heard, "what is that wonderful smell?" from the doorway. "Wait, I know that smell," she said. "Is that drunken mushrooms?" she asked smiling.

"Want a taste?" he asked taking a couple of mushrooms out of the crock-pot. He held up the fork for her and blew on the mushroom to cool it down a little. He offered her the mushroom and she took it into her mouth, chewing with her eyes closed.

"These are so good. I could eat nothing but them, but I bet you've got something planned."

He smiled at her. "You're right. There are steaks marinating in the refrigerator and potatoes to bake."

"That sounds great," she said.

"There's also ice cream," he added.

"You think I'll have room for ice cream after all that?"

"Okay, how about a midnight snack, then?" He was determined that she was going to eat and get healthy again. She'd lost weight that she didn't need to lose. He was going to make sure she ate every meal. No more skipping or eating on the run, or grabbing one of Don's protein bars.

"Maybe. Can we talk some," she asked taking his hand.

"Always. Shall we go sit in front of the fire?"

She nodded and led him back into the living room. They sat on the couch, close together.

"Are you okay," he asked.

"I know I've got you worried." She found out how worried when he didn't say anything. "Wow, I've got you really worried, I'm sorry."

He touched her face and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, but he didn't remove his hand from her face and he was concentrating on her, intently. "I've never seen you sleep this much and I've never seen you wake up screaming. I am worried about you."

"When I was in the Middle East I'm not sure I slept through even one night completely. You had to be able to move with a moment's notice, let alone a lot of the time we were sleeping on the ground. A word to the wise, never suggest going camping to me," she said.

He smiled and said, "no camping, got it."

"Any way, sleeping four hours a night might have been a lot considering the circumstances."

"And you never let yourself recover from that, right? The dreams, they are about the time you were there?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about the dreams, or try to talk about them? No pressure and only if you want to, Kenz."

After a few moments she said, "I think you are going to be the only person I will be able to talk about the dreams with, but not yet, okay. I'm not there. I need to think about what I need to tell you to make you understand, does that make sense?"

He squeezed her hand and said, "that makes perfect sense. When you're ready I'll be there to listen."

She leaned in to kiss him and said, "thank you."

He pulled her onto his lap and held her close. "Anything you need, Kenz."

She pulled back enough to see his face. She placed both of her hands on his cheeks and rested her forehead against his. "I'm going to be fine, Billy. It will take some time, but I'll get there, I promise."

"All I want is for you to be okay."

"I know you're worried, Billy, and I get it, I do. I know I'm going to need your help, but I've got to do this my way and in my time, okay?"

He nodded. "I know I can't push, but know that's all I want to do. I want you better, as soon as possible."

She kissed him. "I love you for it, Billy, but I've got to do this on my own time. I want to be better, I do. I want us to be able to get on with our life together, but I need to take care of my past, first. I can't rush that. If I tried to rush anything it may not let me put it away completely. Does that make sense?"

He thought about what she'd said and finally nodded his head. "Yes, that makes sense. I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?" she asked.

"If you feel I'm pushing you too much, or say something you aren't ready to talk about, you've got to tell me, okay. We're really good at reading each other at the studio, but we're not there yet at home. We will get there, but it's going to take time."

She smiled at him and said, "I've never had a problem talking to you. If I feel that you're pushing too much, I'll let you know, and I also know you won't be doing it intentionally."

"Never," he quickly added.

"It's okay, I know," she said, trying to help him relax again. "Enough seriousness," she said and scooted closer to him, half in his lap.

Will put his arms around her and pulled her fully onto his lap. "Agreed," he said and quickly kissed Mac, "enough seriousness for now. What do you feel like doing?"

"Taking a hot bath, you interested in joining me?"

"I'd love to. You want bubbles?"

"Of course, you have to have bubbles," she said.

That made him laugh. "Okay, one bubble bath coming up," he said, standing up with her still in his arms. He carried her into the bathroom and let her slide down him so he could prepare their bath.

He started the tub, adding a copious amount of bubbles, and then turned to her, and began undressing her. Once he had her undressed he quickly undressed himself and asked, "you want front or back?"

"Front, please," she said. He offered her his hand and helped her into the bubbles and then he slipped in behind her and rested her against his chest. "This feels great, Billy." He could see she had her eyes closed. When the water got high enough he turned off the taps.

His hand was resting on her stomach, his finger drawing random patterns. "This is perfect, Billy."

He closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of the hot water, the bubbles and more importantly, Mackenzie in his arms. The awkwardness of the week had gone. They still had things to work through, but he knew they'd get there, together.

The End


End file.
